“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
When George Sand equated happiness with love, little did she know that a time will come when a deep-rooted sense of love will fail to exist.
We now live in an era where true love, relationships, and friendships have taken a backseat. They have been overpowered by money, career, success and individualistic goals. Today, personal development has taken our focus off from developing and nurturing positive, supportive relationships.
With narcissism becoming the order of the day, selfishness has presided over almost all the other emotions. From compassion to trust, honesty, empathy, and unconditional love – everything is slowly diminishing from this world.
We are no longer willing to sacrifice and compromise. The busy humans that we have become have snatched from our lives its very essence of being with others. We have little to no time left for investing in relationships and friendships. Our work, our aspirations and our professional goals have been so deeply weaved into our routine that we seldom realise the void that exists within us.
Moreover, the patience or the efforts needed to deal with relationships are all lost and gone. Chasing our materialistic dreams has become so important today that breaking relationships is much easier than struggling to make them work. All that it takes is a slight obstacle to make us give up on love and friendship.
When it comes right down to it, we seek nothing but convenience. And the instant world that we live in could be blamed for this to a great extent.
We share our whereabouts instantly. We date people instantly. We make new friendships instantly. And then break the same instantly too. The maturity, the tolerance required to make a relationship grow, to understand the other person is not worth our time anymore. And so, we chase instant gratification, forgetting that relationships are sustained through time and patience. Not instant indulgence.
Competition in relationships
There was a time when friendships and relationships had solid foundations. They used to last forever and a day – without conditions, reasons or temptations.
But we have come a long way since then.
Now, relations have undergone a paradigm shift. Competition has sneaked into them. Whether you look at friends, lovers or even spouses, a certain degree of competitiveness surrounds them all.
And it is this shift from companions to competitors that has killed many relationships over the past few decades and continues to do so. The constricting nature of modern relationships has suffocated many souls.
While I totally acknowledge the fact that emotions have subsided in this era of competition where everyone is fighting their own battles, every time I see friendships getting dissolved and people drifting apart, it breaks my heart.
As if competition and instantification weren’t enough, technology too has been ruining relationships, albeit clandestinely. You don’t have to go far to witness the impact of technology on relationships. Just take a look around, and you will see many people sitting together, paying less attention to each other and more to their smartphones.
The very same technology that was once meant to bring us closer has been keeping us aloof. This all-pervasive technology has impacted the way we interact with those who matter to us. Rather than meeting them, we text, snapchat or video call them.
The need to be together no longer persists. We crave space. We crave freedom.
This technology overload is wreaking havoc on our personal lives, and we couldn’t care less. Expressing ourselves has been reduced to typed words and short conversations. We don’t like to tell others how we really feel. Instead of venting our emotions, spending time catching the latest movie on Netflix or binge watching a web series seems much easier to many of us.
Mad Love Vs. Practicality
We’re the generation of practical people. We love being addressed as those who run by logic rather than sentiments. We don’t like to be called emotional – for we don’t really know how emotions can rule our senses so much so that we end up loving another madly.
People today are not willing to wait for hours just to catch a glimpse of the ones they love. If distance comes between two lovers, they will find it better to break up rather than cutting off the distance or living with it.
The madness, the passion and the selfless devotion that once existed amongst lovers are nowhere to be found today. Now love is governed by practical laws. And when pragmatism replaces pure and unconditional love, the result is distorted feelings along with an emotional void that practicality can hardly ever fill.
Finding true “soul mates” in this modern world
You must have heard about it or read about it somewhere.
But have you been lucky enough to experience the true meaning of soul mates?
Well, like the majority of the present generation, you might haven’t. And the chances are high that you might not even believe in the concept – after all, how can there be a person who is uniquely compatible with you? How can someone know you completely, when you yourself fail to do so?
If you take the idea of romanticism away from the concept of soul mates, you will realise that there are several people who become a part of your life and connect with you on a deeper level. These soul mates are the perfect representation of trust, love, and friendship.
So, do you get to marry your soul mate? No. Soul mates are not necessarily life partners. They can come into your life as a friend, a mentor, a colleague, a muse, a relative or just as an acquaintance. Even the fleeting moments that you share with them are filled with a sort of magnetic energy, an innate feeling where every emotion, every sentiment seems to fall right into place.
I personally feel that soul mates touch your hearts while attraction simply touches your eyes. These soul connections run on honesty, maturity and endless efforts on the part of both the beings involved. These connections go beyond ego, appearances, and pretences.
For me, Radha and Krishna were true soul mates. Even though Lord Krishna married Rukmini, Radha was his purest reflection. Though they were physically separated, they were spiritually connected and lived in each other. They both existed together and are worshipped together. The love, the connection between the two is what gives meaning to this life.
Just like Radha-Krishna, there are many souls who connect with each other on a spiritual level; there are many people who still care for others without hoping for anything in return. Selflessness and devotion exist even today. All that’s needed is to appreciate and acknowledge the “one” who sees you as a special being, who believes in you even when nobody else does.
If you wonder whether you can find that someone who can be your soulmate, your alter ego, then all that I would suggest is – keep your eyes and heart open and don’t get bogged down by the materialistic objectives of this fast-paced modern world.
You will “find” them.
And, once you do that, never let them go.